Got my meds back

So that was fun, but not that fun. I'm glad i have my medication now because that means I can actually do things. In fact I've basically finished 2 more tracks on the rap album. So that's pretty cool. I forgot what not taking my meds for so long feels like, and I don't know why I used to think it was "fun". In all honesty, it's kind of like tripping acid. My brain moves a mile a minute and thinking is so easy but actually doing stuff is hard AF and interacting with people is a bit weird and like everything is just really overwhelming. Idk, its not that fun. I mean it is fun, but its not like, good. Idk. It's weird. It's not healthy probably.

The good news is that a thought alot about the game I'm making. Not Varg (speaking of which i just played through the demo and it says it would be out summer of 2013 WOW i fucked that up), but another game. It's called "My 8-bit Existential Fantasy" and is basically a ripoff of Yume Nikki. It's gonna be weird AF and creepy as hell. I'm also gonna have fun designing all the music which is gonna be balls weird. Like all sorts of weird mangled and bizarre loops and all sorts of disorienting things that are bound to cause cognitive dissonance. It'll be a grand old time. Idk when thats gonna happen though.

For now, I need to concentrate on finishing the rap album. That shit has been unreleased for way to long and it makes me sad. I have like 4 of these albums planned out in my head and its like most of them don't really need any new songs (except for one). but like I've got the schematic of all of them laid out. I just need to stop being lazy and actually make them happen.

I feel really bad about wasting my break, but there wasn't much I could do about it. Like, Just coding the midi sequencer was alot of effort, and the only reason I was able to finish it was becuase i could copy alot of code from other projects. Idk, ADHD is real man.

Anyway, hopefully classes wont be to tough this term and I can still make some music. I'm gonna do a ton of live shows this term, thats for sure. idk if i'm gonna do another radio show, but like, i'm gonna perform a bunch. so if you're in minnesota, check it out.

I'm gonna go to bed.
             

So college is cool

That's where I have been all this time. I really really really like it. Thank you Carleton. I had some free time so I'd figure Id update this because I haven't. The music has been put on hold for a bit, mainly because I haven't found the time to just kind of sit down and compose stuff. There's always something to do. I've also just been trying to put a band together and that takes time. I haven't really adjusted to the new environment enough to record yet, so most of my musical output has taken the form of improvised jamming, which I've been doing via my radio show at Krlx.org. It's from 4am to 6am Minnesota time. Check it out.

I have grown kind of tired of recording. I like the instantaneous-ness of improvisation. Everything you do is immediately laid out. At the same time, I really appreciate the precision of recording. It's just nice. Making songs on my laptop is also kind of hard because I'm not as used to FL 10 as I am to FL 8. I just like the way FL 8 works. I am familiar with it.  

Anyway, you all should tune into my radio show if you really wanna know what I am thinking about. Maybe I'll have a new song at some point, but I just don't think I'll find the time for it. IDK. We will see what happens.

See ya later!

So much for taking a break...

Shoegazing is up and ready for download. I'm not gonna finish the rap album until probably December, but I'm gonna try to record everything before I leave for school and then master it at college.

I became a youtube partner. I had monetized some of my videos but then I received a facebook message from some random person who was trying to scam me and left me a phone number. This prompted me to do reverse phone lookups and other research, which prompted me to look at my browser cookie settings. This lead me to actually look at what browser cookies i had stored and HOLY FUCK here are so fucking many of them! Some from sites I have never even been to! Most of them probably got there from third party advertising stuff, which is such shit because its so fucking sneaky and advertisements on the internet have become so common. Advertising makes everything stupid. Money makes everything stupid. Look at what happened to tv, look what happened to radio, and look whats about to happen to the internet. Companies are trying to turn the internet into a big money making service and they are using advertising algorithms to create unique profiles (without our knowing consent) and storing data about us. I'm being a little bit panic-y here and sure this mean we are soon gonna live in a totalitarian police state (not yet anyway) but it is something that we should talk about because there isn't a lot of information.

Anyway, this discovery of the billions of tracker cookies lead me to un-monetize my videos because I want to do as much as I can to prevent x^2 users from getting their information entered into the global advertising database. But what do you all think about third party cookies? Should there be laws about what advertisers can do with the information they take form you? Should there be laws requiring websites to tell you if they are storing cookie data and if there are third party cookies on the site? Should we all finally acknowledge money as the soul sucking evil that it is and abandon conventional ideals of value? Let me know what you think.

Brady Haran's Computerphile has a great video on cookies and what exactly they do. Brady Haran is really a fantastic and prolific youtuber and you should check out his stuff. He has a bunch of channels all of which are quality.

In the meantime, FIGHT THE BEAST.

I might be taking a break from music for a while

Idk, I just haven't been feeling it recently. I'll try to finish mastering the new EP for August. I still havent got a new microphone shockmount yet so I can't really do any serious recording. I don't think the rap album is gonna be finished in time. Writing lyrics is so hard for me even when it's not rapping and when it is rapping it's even harder. I feel like I don't have any conceptual basis for my music right now, you know? Everything is just kind of "oh i bet this is cool" or i feel like I'm trying to hard. There's no greater point anymore, you know?

I'm thinking of doing stand up. I've been writing some material and I'm gonna try to find a comedy club open mic and preform some of it. I also might just record me telling the jokes in my room and upload that to youtube or something. I need to get some press.

Idk, it's a weird time. I feel like I've reached some pinnacle because my high school self has everything it wanted, and I haven't evolved enough to want something new. I have nothing to strive for, and I'm not dead yet. I've plateaued.

I'm not gonna try to force music out of me. If I wanna make a song I'll make it, but I'm not gonna lie to myself by making something I don't want to. I hope you all can understand that.

But I don't have like any fans so what the hell who cares.

Hello College Admissions Counselors!

Hello! If you are reading this, you decided to take a look at my Common App Arts supplement! And that's awesome, because I have some pretty cool stuff up here that I'd like to show you.

I believe the pages are pretty self explanatory, but if you really can't figure it out, here's the rundown: The Music page contains all my music. I have the player embedded on the page so you can just click play and relax, but if you want there are also links to the Bandcamp where the actual music is hosted.The Photos Page contains some photos/works of visual art that I did. Some are silly, others are more serious. The same is true for the Films. Those range from school projects to blog entries, but they are all fairly entertaining on some level. Next is the Writings page, which contains a few short stories I've written, plus some music reviews. And last but not least, there is the Games page, where you can download a copy of a game I'm working on called Varg! It's super cool and you should play it. It won't work on Macs though, unless you can run .exe files on those now. Sorry about that.

Anyway, I hope you have fun browsing the site! I'm sure that in the end, you will make the right decision.

Also if you want to you can comb through the blog entries. Nothing too exciting there, but occasionally I get on a good rant. I will heavily advise you to not take everything you read there seriously. Hyperbole is an excellent stress relief. If you allow yourself to be entertained, I am sure that you will be.