My dad cannot hear

It is weird because all my parents are finally starting to get old and all of them are clearly losing their brain functions. My dad cannot hear for ass. My mom kinda can't think straight at all. When i become old I will retain all my higher brain functions because I read somewhere on the internet that playing board games while smoking pot increases brain function by 420% and postpones Alzheimer's infinitely. I will never get old.

I am already 108 years old which is pretty old for humans but in the species that I am it isn't very old. In the species that I am some of us live to be 420 years old. We expand our life force aura by consuming drugs. It is proven science and not a lie that I am making up because I am bored in the Midwest.

I swear to god the whole thing is just one big flat farm there is fucking nothing here at all. Except for colleges. Like fifty colleges are here all in a big pile right next to each other. It's weird. Why would anyone want to go to college here and why would anyone who lives here not want to go to college in some sexy place like San Francisco or Mars or some place that isn't fucking in the Midwest. God damnit I am so bored please help me I am dying.

Please give me all your money. Donate at the bottom of the page guys.