so for like the past 48 ive been trying to get a new website. it's not that like, this blogspot is bad (like in terms of functionality), but it does kind of looks like shit. plus, there is like a bunch of dumb bullshit on here that is amusing, but its not like, professional, you know?
if im gonna do this (like this music bullshit) for a living, i should probably be professional about it. like, idk, it just seems like the right thing to do. there might not be a reason, but like, fuck it. everyone else is being professional, why shouldn't i be?
i guess i'm caught in a bit of a crossroads right now. how seriously do i wanna take this shit? how seriously can i take myself when so much of my music as x^2 comes from a time when i didn't know what a limiter was? and i've convinced myself that im gonna keep all that music (that i made when i didn't know what a limiter was) because its like a dumb time capsule kind of thing, and its just like, if i take it all down i'd have to start from scratch building an actual catalog, and that scares me.
because i guess, before i graduated college (which did happen btw its a long story) art was always something i did for myself. i dont wanna say i did it for fun, because sometimes it wasn't fun. i always had these pretensions about what i was doing, these higher aspirations that i was reaching for, and it didn't ever seem like other people were involved in whether or not i met those aspirations. everything was self-serving.
but now, im realizing i guess that if i really wanna make it in this big bad world, i need to convince a sizable chunk of you that im like, worth your salt (and at least a dollar of your cash on patreon.)
and to be quite honest, i'm not really sure how im gonna do that.
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