Parts of the Apple Terms of Service agreement that are funny

"E. YOU FURTHER ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THE APPLE SOFTWARE AND SERVICES ARE NOT INTENDED OR SUITABLE FOR USE IN SITUATIONS OR ENVIRONMENTS WHERE THE FAILURE OR TIME DELAYS OF, OR ERRORS OR INACCURACIES IN THE CONTENT, DATA OR INFORMATION PROVIDED BY, THE APPLE SOFTWARE OR SERVICES COULD LEAD TO DEATH, PERSONAL INJURY, OR SEVERE PHYSICAL OR ENVIRONMENTAL DAMAGE, INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION THE OPERATION OF NUCLEAR FACILITIES, AIRCRAFT NAVIGATION OR COMMUNICATION SYSTEMS, AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL, LIFE SUPPORT OR WEAPONS SYSTEMS."

That explains Chernobyl.

9. Export Control. You may not use or otherwise export or reexport the Apple Software except as authorized by United States law and the laws of the jurisdiction in which the Apple Software was obtained. In particular, but without limitation, the Apple Software may not be exported or re-exported (a) into any U.S. embargoed countries or (b) to anyone on the U.S. Treasury Department's list of Specially Designated Nationals or the U.S. Department of Commerce Denied Person’s List or Entity List. By using the Apple Software, you represent and warrant that you are not located in any such country or on any such list. You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of nuclear, missiles, or chemical or biological weapons."

Aww Shucks.

"8. Limitation of Liability. TO THE EXTENT NOT PROHIBITED BY LAW, IN NO EVENT SHALL APPLE BE LIABLE FOR PERSONAL INJURY, OR ANY INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, INDIRECT OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES WHATSOEVER, INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, DAMAGES FOR LOSS OF PROFITS, LOSS OF DATA, BUSINESS INTERRUPTION OR ANY OTHER COMMERCIAL DAMAGES OR LOSSES, ARISING OUT OF OR RELATED TO YOUR USE OR INABILITY TO USE THE APPLE SOFTWARE, HOWEVER CAUSED, REGARDLESS OF THE THEORY OF LIABILITY (CONTRACT, TORT OR OTHERWISE) AND EVEN IF APPLE HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. SOME JURISDICTIONS DO NOT ALLOW THE LIMITATION OF LIABILITY FOR PERSONAL INJURY, OR OF INCIDENTAL OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES, SO THIS LIMITATION MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU. In no event shall Apple's total liability to you for all damages (other than as may be required by applicable law in cases involving personal injury) exceed the amount of fifty dollars ($50.00). The foregoing limitations will apply even if the above stated remedy fails of its essential purpose."

So basically, if the software fucks up when you need it not to, even if Apple knows it could fuck up, and EVEN if you have a contract that says "oh if apple fucks up they owe me shit", you are basically fucked, because at most all they will do is pay you 50 BUCKS, which is a very small amount of money given the kinds of fuckups they are talking about there.

People should read more.

I have a blog

It makes me sad that no one reads my blog because I think that my blog is a good blog. That said, there sn't actually a fair amount of blogging on it. I shall attempt to correct this.

One time, when I was six, I did something that my mother consistently and constantly refers to at every  cocktail mixer she goes to in a pathetic attempt to pretend she is a relevant person as "star shopping." Obviously, everybody failed to realize my real estate genius (when Mark Zuckerburg takes over the world he will need off world mines to make us all slave for him, but if I own the off world mines, then he would have to buy them from me and I would make quite literally a metric anus ton of money) because everyone in my family tells the story as though it was some kind of "silly" thing that I did as a kid but when the cyborgs enslave us all I will be the one with all the prime space real  estate property and none of those fuckers will be allowed to go on any of them. 

Anyway, this story ends with me falling off the roof and busting my face on a railing and crying a bunch. Those were the days.

Anyway, so this Daniel Tosh rape joke thing is like old news I guess but fuck it I just heard about it and I wanna bring up a point that I don't think has been brought up because I haven't bothered to look to see if anyone brought it up.

You do not fucking interrupt a comedian. Don't fucking do it. Ever. You will not get anything out of it except guilt and shame. 

Comedians are supposed to make jokes. When you heckle them, they start making jokes about you. They will all be nasty.

I really hate it when people from the audience heckle, because it's fucking dumb. At that point, you are just trying to make the artist feel bad and that's mean and obnoxious and if you were worth anything you would be up on that stage but no you aren't you are sitting in the crowd getting shitfaced and eating and consuming without making any attempt to contribute something positive to society. Everyone else was laughing and was happy so Daniel still made some people feel good and thats what he was trying to do. But don't be a self righteous prick and insert yourself into someone else because you think their wrong and want to take control of their art.