Something I've stumbled upon.
Most of peoples anger is not directed at the actual thing they are angry at. It's directed at something else. Why they are actually angry is because they don't think the other thing understands why they would be angry. They don't think the other thing believes they have a right to be angry at whatever they are angry at. And that in turn makes the person more angry, because the other person or thing is implying, via not understanding their frustrations, that their feelings are illegitimate and not valid feelings. This can be especially true when one side understands why the other is angry, but the other side doesn't understand why the first side is angry.
Sometimes it's really to say "Oh this person is clearly wrong and this person is clearly right" but most of the time you can't do that. There's no point in trying to assign blame, trying to make others feel guilty, etc, because it wont fix the problem. In the end, all anybody can do is be truly sorry that they did something to offend the other person.
The problem can only be fixed when both sides understand the others' pain. Only then can anybody really forgive and move on.
Just something I've been thinking about.
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